The Greatest Distance
by KitWolfren
Summary: Thorin's company is displaced in time by Gandalf, due to an emergency. They land in front of country girl Piper and her son. After recognizing them, mostly, she realizes that in no way can they be left on their own in this modern world, and now she has to cope with some of the strangest house guests ever! PLOT BUNNY FROM SDAVID09 CHALLENGE ENTRY (from Tumblr see profile) OCxBofur
1. Chapter 1

I OWN NOTHING OF THE HOBBIT! All rights to Tolkien's characters belong to him and his estate, with help from Peter Jackson. I am making no money from this story.

* * *

 _"How is it possible for people and places to change so entirely that they lose any connection with what they used to be? Can a man adapt to new things and new places without losing a part of himself?"_

—Abdelrahman Munif

* * *

"Oi, Nori, put that down!" Dori barked at his brother, his hands still swatting Ori's away from the stack of foreign books. He felt doubly frazzled, having to keep an eye on his troublesome brothers, on top of all that had happened.

While that was going on, Bombur had sneaked a peek into a cupboard in the adjacent room, and licked his lips when he spotted a box of brightly colored pastries.

"Uh-uh!" Bofur interjected, reaching past his brother to shut the cupboard door. "Ye were tol' t' leave tha' alone!" He grumbled, shaking his head. "Ye jus' ate!" And he waved his hand to the emptied boxes of food on the table. "Eh yeah, what was tha' called again?" His eyes scanned the crowded room for their hostess, but she and their leader still hadn't returned yet. Whatever it was, he sure wished he could get the recipe for his brother. Bombur was a master at recreating dishes.

Meanwhile Fíli and Kíli were pushing one another about beside the hallway mirror, trying on hats from the top of the coat rack. "Here, here, try this one! Haha!" They laughed over each oddly shaped and strangely colored head wear, modeling them in the mirror.

"No way! It makes my hair stick out weird! You try it!" Fíli pulled the hat his younger brother had crammed onto his head back off and returned the favor, shoving it on top of his brothers darker locks. "Aye, there. A perfect hat!"

Oin was seated on the sofa, watching everything going on, only heading half of it. "Bats? Nah, lads no bats in here. Too bright!"

Hearing his brother, Gloin rolled his eyes and went on with his grumbling about their misfortune. "Who doesn'a use gold coin! It's no' natural!" Harrumphing again, he crossed his arms over his broad chest. "Don't trust folk who don't use good coin!"

Bifur was, of course, the quietest of the bunch. He was sitting to the side of all the commotion, curiously inspecting a little toy, a bright red cart-like gizmo, with a ladder on the back. When he pressed a square button on it, the ladder would shoot out, telescoping out from the back of the cart. He could only see half of the mechanism, and was horribly curious about it. Maybe… maybe if he took it apart, he could see how it worked, and he would most definitely have it fixed up right proper before anyone was the wiser. With a light of glee in his eyes, he went off to fetch his tools from his pack.

Dwalin, ever the stoic, stood with a scowl on his face, watching all of their company and the antics they were getting up to. He rolled his eyes at more than a few, and kept a sharp watch on a few others. "Nori," he growled after Dori had left the middle Ri brother to help the younger, "Put that back."

Nori slipped a little figurine back onto the shelf beside him and ducked his head with a sheepish grin.

Then there was Bilbo. Poor, sweet, horribly discomfited Bilbo Baggins, of the Shire. He had seen this all before, back when he had been the unwitting victim of Dwarvish drop-ins. Of course that was all before, before they had left Middle Earth.

That very thought sent shivers down to his curly haired toes. They had left Middle Earth. He didn't even know that was possible. He didn't even know there were other worlds! Sure, some weird fantasy novels claimed such things, but that was fantasy, not reality! It simply wasn't possible. No. Not at all. But, try as he might, sitting sullenly on the sofa near Oin, with his hands balled into fists on his lap, staring straight ahead at nothing in particular, he couldn't deny where they were. Another world. A futuristic world. Everything was so strange, so surreal. Nothing made sense.

The entire room full jumped when a loud ringing noise sounded out, half of them drawing hidden weapons and looking for the cause.

Dwalin stared at a small rectangular device set upright on the counter, and the shrill ringing coming from it. He reached out cautiously, ignoring a few words of warning sent his way, and picked it up. Quietly, a voice spoke from it. "This is Generations Pediatrics calling, regarding your appointment for Monday, June 5th at. 4:30 pm. Please press one to confirm." The balded dwarf looked up at the others, seeing a few guestures for him to do something although no one seemed to agree as to what. He recognized the numerical symbols as Westeron numbers, but wasn't sure what he should do. Obviously the message was not for them, but their hostess. Don't want to make her miss an appointment. Slowly he reached out and pressed one. The voice spoke again. "Thank you! Please be sure to have your insurance, ID, and medical cards with you. Have a great day."

"Thanks?" He replied, "You as well…" then there was silence and, under the scrutinizing gaze of his companions, he set the strange device down again. It beeped as he returned it to the stand. Blinking at it, rather owlishly, the tough warrior felt uncertain. This whole place was strange.

There was a sound outside, a rumbling noise, and wheels crunching on the gravel. Every member of the company looked up, towards the door. Their leader and their hostess were finally returning.

Bofur piped up then, "I thought they were back an hour ago!"

"No, that was just another one of them machines goin' by!" Nori corrected.

A murmuring ran through the group as the door opened, first admitting… a walking pile of bags? This was followed shortly by Thorin Oakenshield, with a small human boy on his hip. He had, in years past, carried both Fili and Kili that way. No longer wearing the regal clothing he had been, he was instead in a blue plaid shirt and a pair of denim trousers. His boots he'd had to keep, but he seemed to fit in much better with this new world. He set the child down, and the boy, a tall lad of four and a half, grabbed onto the back of his mother's coat.

"Hey, it's okay, wait love, lemme get this… stuff down…" The woman brought the bags over to the coffee table, setting them all down. "Okay, we got clothes for everyone!" She said, standing up straight and looking at her very unexpected house-guests. Slowly she exhaled, a strand of her hair dancing with her breath. "Right, now, Thorin help me get this sorted out, I'm forgetting who gets what… oh where's.. Ah, Balin, here's your coat." She handed it to the dwarf who came into the room behind herself and Thorin. He was wearing something not dissimilar to Thorin, though his shirt was a deep maroon, not as deep as his own shirt had been, but it wasn't too unlike it. There was thin stripes of gold colored thread running through it. It was a clean cut button up shirt, that their hostess had remarked to it being similar to what her own grandfather would wear. He had chosen to take that as a compliment, mostly because of her sweet smile as she had briely reminisced. She turned to face the dark haired dwarf again, "I think we got the tags off, but you might wanna check first."

The modern-dressed dwarf gave a nod, recalling how she had removed certain clipped on papers and adhesive strips from the clothing he now wore, and helped her sort through their purchases. While he did that, he thought back to what had brought them here, to this very strange land.

Gandalf. Of course.

* * *

"Gandalf!" Thorin's deep rough voice called out to the wizard who stood some ways from their camp one night. "Where are you going?"

"Hm?" The gray garbed man turned to look at Thorin, "Nowhere. I am… I am going nowhere." His long wiry eyebrows knit together in consternation. "Which is exactly the problem."

Frowning at the cryptic words, Thorin approached him. "Is there something wrong?" He kept his piercing blue gaze on the tall man's face, though he had quickly learned his stare did little to break through to the wizard, as it did on most other people. Most.

"Oh, there is something very, very wrong, Master Dwarf, very wrong indeed." The wizard huffed, tamping his knuckles against his beard, then stroking it as though to calm himself. "This isn't right… not at all. It doesn't feel right…"

"If you're having second thoughts about this quest, it's perhaps too late now." Thorin grumbled, crossing his arms and raising a brow as he wondered what in Mahal's name the strange man could mean.

"Gandalf?" Another voice piped up from towards the camp. Bilbo was making his way over. "Is everything alright?"

"I'm afraid not, my dear Bilbo. Something has gone terribly wrong, things are not as they should be suddenly. In a way I cannot explain." He fretted a bit more before he turned to face them. "I need some time to gather my thoughts and sort this out… get some rest, all of you."

 _Wizards_ , Thought Thorin, _I wonder if the world isn't better off without their kind._ He did give the source of this new headache a nod, then turned back to camp. "Bofur, you're on watch. Let's turn in." He cast one last glance at Gandalf, watching him pace a bit to and fro, before he returned to his bedroll, patting Fili's shoulder as he passed the brothers. "Fili, you can relieve Bofur for second watch. Dwalin will take third."

Everyone agreed, and aside from Bofur, they all laid down to get some rest, eager to sleep after a very long day on their ponies.

One of the number, however, could not get to sleep. Even after the dwarves around him were snoring peacefully, or as peaceful as dwarves could snore, for he determined that more than a few of them sounded fierce even in their sleep, Bilbo lay wide awake, until the second night watch was near over. He turned this way and that, but it was to no avail. Sleep simply would not come to him. He rose, silent in the way of hobbits, and walked over to Gandalf, lighting his pipe once he was there beside his friend. "Have you sorted anything out yet?"

Gandalf hummed before answering, "Yes… but I do not like the look of it."

"Can you tell me?"

Turning to look down at the hobbit, the wizard pondered briefly if it would do any good. "I suppose I may." He glanced up, aware that Bofur was near enough to hear them, but he relented that it did not matter. They would all know soon enough. "Some fell magic has changed the flow of time."

"Uhm.. what?" Bilbo asked in utter confusion. "That… that can't happen… can it?"

Mirthlessly the wizard laughed quietly, "There is much that can happen that you do not know about, Bilbo Baggins." He huffed through his beard, shaking his head. "I cannot address this with all of you in tow, however it seems to have fixed itself upon this company." His lips pressed into a thin line for a moment. "Yes, I know what I must do. However, I think none of you shall like it very much at all. No you shan't."

"Oy wha's this now?" Bofur had made his way over. "Seems you ought t' be tellin' the lads all, hm? Somethin' comin' after us, we should know!" He protested, though kept his voice hushed. If it wasn't something worth waking the others just yet, he didn't want to be in trouble with everyone. But he was ready to give a good shout, just the same.

Turning to look at the hatted dwarf, Gandalf arched a brow at his bold statements. "It will become all too clear in short order, however you are right, I should address this issue immediately. Rouse the others!" Waving the dwarf off, he looked at Bilbo, brows slowly lifting, "It seems you are going on a grander adventure than I first believed."

"I'm what now?" Bilbo sputtered, but the dwarves were waking at Bofur's calls, and he could only watch in unsettled dismay as Gandalf left him to return to the camp. He huffed and stomped his foot in vain, missing his armchair and books very much in that moment. He just wanted to sit down on a soft cushion with a good book, and forget this nonsense! Too late for that. He hurried back when he heard Thorin begin to shout.

"What is the meaning of this!?" The dwarven king rose, still gripping his weapon. "Why do you wake us, Bofur? There is no attack!"

"Because I told him to." Gandalf said, in his loudest shout, full of exasperation, sparing Bofur from the short tempered Oakenshield's anger. He stood fast as those sharp blue eyes turned upon him instead. "You must all be prepared, immediately!"

"Prepared for what?" Ori asked, still half asleep and confused.

Dori shushed him, setting a hand on Ori's shoulder, "Quiet now!" His attention, like that of all the others, was fully on Gandalf then.

Gandalf sighed, wishing he could explain this better, but with little knowledge to the workings of things beyond their world, it would take much more time than he felt they had. "There has been a shift in the flow of time. Someone does not want this quest to succeed, I fear. Someone beyond my knowledge." He noted how Thorin's expression darkened, but continued anyway. Stubborn fool of a dwarf! "It has happened before, though I daresay not for some time, not as you see it anyway. There is no other recourse but to remove you, the lot of you, until it is straightened out."

"Remove us!?" A number of dwarves shouted in aghast or angry voices.

"Listen!" Gandalf cried, though it went unheard as all of the company began in uproar. His grip on his staff tightened as he tried to hold his own temper.

"Shazara!" Thorin bellowed, looking at his gathered company as they fell silent around him. "Explain yourself, wizard," he nearly spat.

Still so very tired of dealing with this temperamental dwarf, Gandalf steadied himself with a sigh, and both hands on his staff. "There is much that I cannot tell you, even more yet that you would not understand, and I fear I have little time to tell you what I may. You will all be removed from this world," He quickly held up a hand to forestall any interruptions. "Temporarily. Temporarily removed from this world and this timeline. Then you will return here, not mere seconds past the time you depart. How long you will spend in this other realm, I do not know, time does not flow equally. But you will return. So long as you do not die there."

"Die?" Bilbo qualied.

Casting him a sympathetic glance, Gandalf continued. "I will send you somewhere safe. Or rather, relatively safe, so long as you obey the laws of the land, and do not cause a stir."

Nori suspiciously eyed everyone around him. Them, not cause a stir? They were doomed… He looked across and saw his friend, Bofur, who, judging by his expression, was thinking the same thing.

"It is a place I have been to before," Gandalf attempted to assure them. "It is a safe place. Though, I cannot guess where exactly you will arrive, or who you shall meet there. But if you keep your heads down and do not draw attention to yourselves, you will be fine." He told them, mumbling softly under his breath, "I hope." He knew Bilbo heard him at the concerned look he received. "It is a land very unlike this one, they have progressed to a point such as we would think of a distant future, and it is a land in which combat is not treated the same as here. They are more peaceful and less violent. And there are no dwarves!" Not in the way that would make any sense to the company.

"Sounds like yer sending us to the elves!" Dwalin growled.

"No, there will be no elves there. Nor any other non-human race." Gandalf assured him, though he saw the discomfort in all of them and heard their murmured dismay. In a moment he was reminded of the behaviors of toddlers and small children. This brought a quirk to the corner of his mouth. That at least gave him a vague guide.

"No elves… no dwarves!" Ori gasped, sending a ripple through the little crowd.

"Only humans, how miserable!" Gandalf couldn't quite tell who had said that, but he suspected it was either Oin or Gloin, and the quietness of the rumbled opinion gave him the belief it was Gloin.

"Those poor people!" Bofur muttered in pitying dismay.

"Will… will you be coming?" Bilbo asked, his softer voice managing to be heard through the others talking amongst themselves now.

Looking down at Bilbo, rue in his gaze, he shook his head. "I am afraid not. I must maintain the magic to the portal you will take from this end. The world you are going to has no magic left." He wasn't surprised by those gasps of shock. "There is not even memory of it. It is best not to discuss it too openly." He looked to the others again, "I suggest you find yourselves an ally as quickly as you can, someone you feel you can trust."

"How can we trust any of them?" Thorin snarled at the wizard.

"You will have little other choice if you wish to survive. And survive you must." Gandalf looked up towards the sky, and his eyes moved, tracking things the others could not hope to see. "Ready yourselves. Leave but the barest necessities, they will be here when you return."

"R-right, because time w-w-won't pass here…" The voice of the hobbit was tremulous at best.

"Good fellow!" Gandalf smiled to him then. "Keep your wits about you. They are more peaceful, but less understanding, on a whole. A few bright souls still exist that would aid you. You will have to find one. When it is time for you to return, you will see the portal again. Walk through it."

"What if we're asleep!?" Bofur objected, starting to sound panicked.

Gandalf shook his head, "You will not sleep through it, that much I assure you." His head snapped up and he nodded, "It is time. Come now, take only what you need." And he fixed Fili with a stern look. "Only take a few daggers, if you please."

"I always do!" The older of the two princes grinned cheekily.

Bilbo started for his things and came to a stop, turning to face Gandalf, his curiosity giving him some semblance of confidence in his words. "Gandalf… surely if you have the power to do something like this… surely you could complete this journey without us."

Thorin seemed almost startled by the hobbit's question, and he whirled to Gandalf then, his eyes expressing the same curiosity for the answer. "Yes, do tell us why you can do this, but not aid more than you have, or intend."

Looking over at them and huffing, drawing his lips far up in a frown, Gandalf shook his head, "This is not my doing, nor my magic that can do this task. I am merely marking the target, as it were. Now, hurry and prepare!"

Soon the company stood, huddled together in unease, each carrying one pack, wearing their warmest cloak, and holding one blanket. A few carried visible weapons, against Gandalf's recommendation, and the wizard and hobbit both were certain more than a few, if not all, carried numerous hidden weapons.

Gandalf looked them over. "Remember what I said, cause no trouble, and stay alive!" With one last uncertain glance at the company, he turned away, to face the dawning light. Raising his staff, he brought it down to the earth, aligning it just so for a second, and in a moment the rays of the dawn sunlight gleamed through the tangled wooden roots of the tip of the tall shaft. The end of the staff began to glow, and it grew brighter, and brighter, and brighter still.

It was blinding by the time the dwarves and hobbit realized that not only could they hardly see each other, they felt as nearly sickening pull on their whole bodies, seeming to stretch them beyond themselves. It didn't hurt, but it gave every one of them a sense of terror that, could they have but moved in that instant, would have sent even the bravest of them fleeing. Just when it seemed they could no longer stand it… it got worse.

Reality folded upon itself, creating a wrinkle in the fabric of space and time, connecting two very distant points. What this felt like to the dwarves cannot be truly put into the words of any mortal creature, for the words do not yet exist. Though as the rare travelers such as these go, upon his arrival at their destination, Bilbo put it in the best yet description.

"Nope."


	2. Chapter 2

I OWN NOTHING BUT THE MODERN SETTING AND OCS

* * *

In the unsettling moments after their arrival, a number of the dwarves were caught by surprise with a heavy wave of nausea. More than a few empties their stomachs, which took a good deal longer for poor Bombur, upon the ground they arrived upon. Bofur, still struggling to hold his dinner down, patted his brother's back and tried to speak comfortingly, and it would have worked had he not been gagging every third word.

Those who weren't divesting themselves of their dinner were looking around in various stages of dazed unease. Dwalin and Gloin recovered first and they were pacing a circle around the others, trying to spot any threats. The only thing they saw was a young boy, who was sitting in a swing nearby, staring at them, his jaw hanging. Dwalin cursed, while Gloin tried to apply his best "fun dad" voice to the situation.

"Hey, now, don't worry 'bout what ye just saw, laddie." Gloin kept his hands up In a pacifying manner. "We jus', erm, we jus' go' here, ain't nothin' t' worry about…" and he sighed heavily when the child sprang off the bench and ran to the other side of a large construct, that the dwarf assumed to be a play space for the child, and likely any others who would come by.

"Moooooooooooooom!" The child yelled, running behind the structure.

The others clambered to their feet and stood in a tight group, around their youngest members and their leader. They also made certain to stand a comfortable distance from where some of them had heaved. Which was a lovely odd sort of picture when the child returned, with his mother in tow. The group rippled with some quiet murmurs, and Balin found himself pushed to the forefront.

"Ah, lass, we didn't mean to frighten you're bairn, quite sorry about that." He said as politely and diplomatically as he could, praying to their distant Mahal that she both understood and would stay calm. In his experience mothers of small children could be quite unpredictable. With luck she wasn't at all like the dwarrowdam who had lived near them back in Ered Luin, she would go off into fits of someone so much as looked at her wee dwarflings wrong.

The woman, who was quite unusual to them to start with, seemed to be entirely caught off guard. She had brightly colored hair, which no one among the dwarves even dared believe was natural, and wore tight fitting leggings, along with a low scoop cut blouse, with the face of a cat on it. Shocking to all of them was how short her hair was, buzzed on one side and longer on the other, it barely reached her chin. What sort of woman had so little hair!?

"Uhm…" She started, looking dumbfounded. A whole gaggle of oddly familiar men were staring at her and one spoke.

"They came from the air!" The boy said, gripping her hand with both of his and bouncing up and down with such enthusiasm that his mother was jerked around.

"Okay okay, leave my arm attached!" She hissed at him, drawing her hand back from the four year old. "I see them! Honey, I don't think they came from nowhere. People don't just… pop out of the air!"

"Moooom!" The boy insisted, sounding frustrated now. "They did!" He stomped his foot and crossed his arms over his TMNT t-shirt. "You never listen…" At four he felt very grown up now, and he also felt that his mother ought to listen to him more than she did sometimes.

While the two humans were speaking, Bifur looked over to see his cousin standing with his jaw hanging open, staring at the woman. He glanced between them for a second, before a smug grin spread on his face, and he eyed her more skeptically. She wasn't a great deal taller than any of them, perhaps a handful of inches over Thorin's height, and while she didn't have the stockiness of a dwarf, she certainly had pleasant curves, and her clothes didn't hide that fact at all. How did anyone let a woman like this out dressed so!? Then an awful thought struck him, if she had a child, she had a husband. He looked to Bofur once more, and saw the pain on his cousin's face, feeling quite crestfallen himself. What an awful curse!

"Ah, yes, actually, miss, your young boy may have a point," Balin ventured slowly. "We," he glanced over at his king and received a subtle nod telling him to continue. "We did rather appear out of thin air."

"Excuse me?" She faced him with her brows raised, looking skeptical and unamused. While she didn't find offense in his attitude, she didn't appreciate someone leading her son on about things she had just explained to him couldn't happen. Something nagged the back of her mind every time she looked at them. They looked so familiar! Why couldn't she place where she had seen them before?

Another figure pushed his way forward in the rag-tag group. "Ah, ye can't really hold it against the poor lad, we did just pop up on him!" Bofur insisted, coming to the boy's defense, if only because he couldn't stand not saying something to her at the moment. "If yer gonna be angry at him fer his words-"

"I'm not angry, I just didn't want him telling me tall tales, thank you." The woman replied curtly.

With a heavy sigh, Balin nudged Bofur back. "Before we get off on the wrong foot," he shot the hatted dwarf a glare. "I apologize for my… friend." Shaking his head he smiled politely once more. "My name is Balin, son of Fundin, at your service." He bowed, and stood up to explain more, but saw the woman had clapped her hands over her mouth in shock. "I.. uhm… we, rather… a-are you alright?"

"Dwarves…" she muttered, recognizing them then. It had been a few years since she had watched any of those movies, or even read the book for that matter. But it was slowly clicking into place. They looked exactly like the cast of The Hobbit! "You're… oh my!" What detailed cosplayers! As a bit of a nerd herself, though she tended towards more science fiction, she was thoroughly impressed. "Just missing a hobbit, huh?"

"No! I'm right here!" Bilbo piped up, before he realized her statement was rather strange, considering they didn't know her, and expected she didn't know them. He shuffled through the dwarves to step forward.

"Wha-" This was too much suddenly. He was a very very tiny Martin Freeman. Quite exactly. Her eyes scanned the crowd, Aiden Turner, Richard Armitage, and Dean O'Gorman, those faces she recognized immediately, others she spotted but didn't recall their names, for they hadn't been in many other things she had watched. Dwalin and Bofur were among them. After a second she realized she was looking up at them, and a few were running to her side. Without realizing she had sat down quite abruptly, her legs giving out under her. "Y- you… you… you're… hu~uh~..." With an trembling exhale, she looked them all over.

She lifted one hand to grip her son's wrist, reassuring herself he was still there. "Am… am I dreaming?" She asked them, quite calmly after a moment.

"No, lass." Balin assured her in a gentle tone, knelt before her. She looked a touch too pale for his comfort. "You see true."

"Take it easy now," Bofur urged, crouched at her side. "Just breathe… tha's a girl!" He reached out to gently rub her back, but couldn't help but grimace when she tensed under his touch. "Sorry…"

"I'm… I'm alright… Just… gimme a sec." She shivered, looking up at all of them. "What… are you doing here? You're… you're not…"

"That damned wizard sent us here," Thorin rumbled from nearby.

"That's a bad word!" The boy piped up, pointing a finger at the king.

"Riordan!" His mother hissed.

Turning his blue gaze on the boy, Thorin cracked a grin after a second, and leaned down, setting his hands on his knees, as he had done with Kili and Fili when they were young. "That is is, young man. You're very right, and I'm sorry if I used foul language in front of you and your mother. Will you forgive me?"

Not quite accustomed to being spoken to in such an adult way by strangers, most people tended to just pass the kid off as a young one who got half baby-talked to, Riordan slowly nodded, while leaning against his mother's shoulder shyly. "Yeah." Then, perhaps inspired by Thorin's directness with him, he smiled, "I'm Riordan at your… uhm…"

"Service," Balin filled in for him, realizing the boy was mimicking his earlier introduction.

All of the dwarves grinned when the boy bowed, if a little awkwardly. While not all of them were fathers or uncles themselves, it was natural for their kind to cherish children. And the boy was undeniably adorable.

While this transpired, the woman slowly got herself back to her feet, brushing off her backside. "Right well I'm… I think I need to sit somewhere still… Rio, go play some more, okay? Let mommy think a bit." She ushered her boy off towards the playground.

Riordan didn't seem too pleased, but he followed her command, not before groaning in exasperation. However at the prospect of playing, instead of talking to a bunch of adults, he was soon bounding off to have fun on the playground equipment.

Balin helped the woman over to a bench, and watched as she sat down. He took a seat next to her. "I'm sorry if we upset you, lassie. We're quite out of sorts ourselves. You see… we were on a bit of a journey-"

"I bet."

"When we were sent here." Balin looked over at her, wondering what she had meant.

"So… so you're… you're really real…?" She looked over at him, raising her hand to gently touch his shoulder, then it ghosted up to his cheek. Eventually she straight up poked his nose, gently of course.

Balin chuckled, letting her touch his face, realizing she was still trying to cope with this new reality as much as they were. At least they had had warning. "Aye, lass, we're quite real. Ah, now, this here is Bofur, and here is Dori, Ori, Dwalin, and our leader, Thorin. And our b- hobbit, Bilbo." Introducing him as a burglar seemed in poor taste in this situation. "And that's Fili and Kili, playing with your lad."

Looking up, she smiled a little to watch her son laughing as the dark haired brother caught him at the bottom of the tall slide, the lighter haired dwarf at the top, having followed him up. "I'm Piper." She introduced herself, looking over to Thorin first then. "So… you're really dwarves… of Middle Earth?"

"You know of us?" Thorin asked, suddenly on edge.

"Y-yeah…" Piper's mind flashed a red flag. If she told them of certain events… it could be disastrous, she'd seen too many television shows dealing with time travel and knew she couldn't tell them. "Your world… is a land of fable in ours. It's a story book. A very old one, actually. But… how are you here?"

"Gandalf." Thorin huffed. "Likely the doing of the Valar, for what reason I cannot fathom." He looked away, at his nephews who were happily entertaining the boy and giving Piper time to think. Though he almost wondered, watching Kili going down the ramp on his behind, that his younger nephew wasn't doing it just for fun himself. He caught Fili's eye and the two exchanged a nod. Yes, they were good lads, and quite understanding.

"I see… so you just got sent here? Why here?" Piper asked, looking around at them all as they were once again gathering around her.

"We don't really know for sure, except Gandalf said we would be safe here." Bilbo spoke, from not too far from her knee. He winced when she jumped, "Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you. This must all be quite surprising for you."

"For me…?" Piper's eyes widened, "Not nearly as much as it must be for all of you!" Looking around at them, she realized that they stood out like a sore thumb. "Oh boy… uhm, you know you don't exactly fit in… right?" In particular she eyed Dwalin and his axes. This could start a scene if someone came along. During a busy weekday, this park wasn't very often occupied, but it wouldn't be long before students were getting out of school. "We should go, all of you can't be seen here, someone will… anyone could…" Shaking her head, she stood up, "I can fit you all in the back of my truck…"

"And why should we follow you?" Dwalin rumbled, arms crossed. He hadn't liked the way she eyed his weapons with such obvious distaste.

"We aren't to cause any trouble!" Bilbo interjected, "I'm sure being seen out here wandering around like vagabonds would be trouble!"

Thorin looked down at their burglar and nodded slowly, "The hobbit has a point. It seems we have found someone we must trust, just as the wizard said." He turned, stepping in front of Piper, the others moving out of his way. "Lady Piper, we humbly beg your aid in this land, which is strange to us. We will follow your lead."

Staring at him, her mouth moving without sound, Piper nodded, in a slow and rather disconnected sort of way. "Right…" She breathed the word out before she felt her lips quirking into a faint smile of disbelief. "Okay, right," confidence began to fill her voice and she nodded. "Boys!" Turning, she faced the playground, "Riordan, bring your friends. It's pizza night!"

"PIZZA!" Riordan slid down the fireman's pole and sprinted for his mom. Except he tripped first, landing flat on his face in the wood chips. He got up, sniffling and whining as though he was about to cry. Before the tears could come, both Fili and Kili were at his side, the elder brother brushing off the bits of wood clinging to the boy. They joked and cheered him up, quietly, so as to, in their minds, let the boy retain his pride. Soon he was smiling, and Kili hoisted the boy onto his shoulders, bouncing him as they returned to the rest of their group.

Piper just smiled and shook her head at them, quite used to her son's rough and tumble antics. "Silly half-pint." She teased him, reaching out to poke her son's tummy, earning a giggle. This was all so strange, it hurt her head to think about it too much. But she was quite certain she wasn't dreaming, and they were, in fact, very real. The implications of the whole matter she could think through later, for now she had the inclination to deal with things as best she could think how. And getting them off the street, out of the open, seemed the smartest idea. It had been two years ago she had inherited a plot of property that belonged to her family, first her grandparents and then her parents, and now her, a good nine miles out from town, it was ten acres of wooded land. Her grandparents had been loggers, and her parents had helped them purchase the land to retire on, following suit when the time came. It was after her parents had passed, within months of each other, that she'd become the owner. It provided the seclusion needed for her usually reclusive personality, and now the seclusion needed by the company. The company of Thorin Oakenshield. Oh she so badly wanted to reread that book!

Grabbing up her oversized purse, which was really just an old diaper bag she used for outings now, she motioned for the group to follow her. She could hear them talking amongst themselves, parts of it she caught, them wondering if she was trustworthy, which she understood, for she would feel the same if the situation was reversed. Bless the gods it wasn't! Thinking back on the world she had seen in the movies, she repressed a shudder. Nope, she was happy living in a world where orcs simply didn't exist. Listening still to the talk around her, she realized parts of the conversation were in a language she didn't know. Of course, the dwarves had their own language, everyone in Middle Earth did. She didn't recall the name of it though, but looked back at the two speaking it. The one with the hat, Bo-Bo… Bofur! Right, and the one with an axe in his head. However did he survive!? And how was he not suffering from metal poisoning, or any other infections?! Chalking it up to dwarven immunity, she let it go. One more thought to address later.

Bofur caught Piper looking over at them and he smiled, "Ah, my cousin, Bifur, was just wondering… what's a truck?"

The whole of the company fixed their attention on Piper, and she nearly stumbled then, not used to being the center of attention. This was why she had found a way to work from home. "U-uh… it's well… it's like a cart… without horses… it's got a motor, uhm… an engine… machine thing that powers it." There were many looks of curious interest, and she hoped they wouldn't get too curious and take it apart when she wasn't looking or something of that nature. Instead she pointed ahead to her pickup truck. It was her dad's old truck, with a canopy on the back, the windows tinted. She had used it many times for short camping excursions, sleeping in the back instead of a tent. "Okay, so some ground rules, no bouncing around in it, okay? Makes steering hard." Hauling her cousin's pack of large dogs around for a week while her cousin was out of town had taught her that. "So, here's the plan, since I don't really have anything read to feed a whole herd of dwarves."

"HERD?!" A few voices objected.

She turned over her shoulder and raised a brow, "You do look like one." That seemed to leave a few grumbles, but even the members of the company had to relent that she was right. "Like I said, a whole herd of dwarves and one hobbit, so we'll be picking up some food. Which means seeing people. Probably we'll fit most of you in the back, the windows are tinted, so unless you're right up against them, no one should notice you. People up front, let me do the talking."

"Aye, lass, that's wise." Balin said, quickly before anyone else could object. He knew his kin were a stubborn lot, and could be boisterous and often spoke before thinking. "We'll do what you ask."

And so it was that Piper Janet Morgan found herself loading up thirteen dwarves and one hobbit into her truck. Thorin, Balin, Fili and Kili sat in the cab with her, the two boys relegated to the back, on either side of Riordan's booster seat, and the king and his advisor in the front with her. Everyone else was put in the back. Bofur and Nori carefully kept Bilbo between them, setting him on the wheel well, so that he wasn't squished in among the rest of the dwarves. Dwalin had his back to the cab, scowling as they were shut in. Bombur had taken a little help to get up onto the tailgate, and the woman was so very glad she hadn't taken her cousin's advice and put a lift kit on the truck. They'd never have gotten the rotund dwarf up there!

After explaining the seat belts, Piper started the engine, and waited a second to let her little herd adjust. Then they rolled out. Fili and Kili were plastered to their windows, and as much as he tried to keep his image up, Thorin was quite the same. Balin, seated in the center, had to spread his legs to keep from being hit in the knee by the stick shift. He watched as she piloted the vehicle, asking questions now and then about it, which he was quite pleased to find she gladly answered. He was aware, at times that she was keeping it simple, and he knew he wouldn't understand all of it she didn't.

"Momma, can we have music?" Riordan asked, after a moment of being bored, because his two seatmates were ignoring him. Though his question got Kili to look back at them.

"No, not right now, Rio. Later okay? I wanna be able to talk to Balin." Piper explained to him, glancing at the child-mirror she had clipped on her visor. "Why don't you read one of your books, okay?"

"Okay…" the boy sighed, but reached into the pocket on the back of the seat in front of him, pulling out a book about horses.

It wasn't long until Fili had leaned in to look at it with him, it was mostly pictures, but a few simple words. He could recognize the type as being what he knew as Westron, but it was so uniform, he wondered how it had been written so neatly. As he listened to the boy reading, struggling with a few words, he smiled and quietly helped the lad. "Gallop."

"The horse can… gallop." Riordan repeated, and looked up with a grin, then went to the next page. "The horse can jump!"

The ride to the sole Pizza Hut in town went this way, Balin asking questions, Thorin studying the world around them, Kili looking at all the buildings with awe, and Fili reading a child's book with Riordan, and the rest of the company bouncing around in the back.

"You'll never fit in wearing those clothes though…" Piper mused to Balin as they pulled out of the parking lot. He and Thorin had been charged with holding the stacks of pizza boxes, which everyone agreed smelled delicious, since they wouldn't fit in the backseat with the boys. Balin had quickly surmised that left in the back with the others, there would be none left when they got to Piper's place.

"We have no other clothing, I'm afraid." Balin shook his head. "We'll just have to make do."

"Mmm, no." Piper shook her head, "We can get some clothes to fit you. There's a thrift shop in town that sells second hand clothes, and if nothing there fits, then I know a good store to get decent priced stuff."

"We have only a little coin ourselves yet." Balin said with some uncertainty. "I doubt we could afford to buy ourselves new wardrobe just yet."

Piper shook her head again, turning them down a different street. "Wouldn't matter, our currency isn't the same. Don't worry, I have plenty enough for some new clothes for you guys. I do actually earn quite a bit myself."

"What is it you do?" Thorin was the one to speak up then, having been listening to the conversation.

"I'm… well, I… see there's uh…" Piper fumbled, trying to figure out how to explain what it was to be a programmer. "Okay so, we have a lot of uhm, technology, very advanced machines that run on… data, uh, information and it's all written up in a certain language that these computers, the machines, can understand. It's really complex, in a way, and… well I write that, and fix errors in it." She frowned, knowing she wasn't doing very good at this. "It's a necessity, everything runs on code now, so it's a good paying job."

"It must be hard to explain, we have nothing of the like." Balin said with a reassuring smile. He was also sneaking one of the pizza boxes open, having found the side that admitted such, and he peered at the food. "What is this again?" He asked, half to give her something easier to talk about, and half because the smell of the food was overpowering his senses and his stomach was rumbling.

"PIZZA!" Riordan cheered, "Pizza pizza pizza!"

"Inside voice, young man." Piper chastised, "It's flatbread, with sauce and cheese and toppings. Also it's Rio's favorite."

"I gathered that," The old dwarf chuckled merrily.

In the bed of the truck, everyone was sniffing and mumbling in anticipation of whatever that was the smelled so good.

"So she's go' a decent job, an' she's go' 'nough to feed us!" Gloin mused, "Sounds like a nice lass!"

"You're just thinking with your stomach," Nori said with a smug grin. "Sounds like we're getting new clothes too." He turned to look over at his friend with the hat, and saw a strange melancholy on his face. That was odd. But soon they had turned onto a rougher road, that wasn't made of the strange packed rock stuff, and their attention turned to keeping themselves in their spots, and not being impaled upon their and Bofur had their arms clasped in front of Bilbo, after the hobbit had nearly been shot off his perch.

"Slow it down, will ya!?" Barked Dwalin, as he grasped the lip of the truck bed tightly. "Crazy woman is gonna be the death of us!"

However, they were at their destination soon enough, all marveling they had traveled so far in such a short period. And they looked up at the tall house before them. It was two stories tall, and though they couldn't see it, it had a full basement as well.

"C'mon in, and we'll get you fed, then I can pop back for some clothes at the shop." Piper said, getting out of her door. "Ah, Thorin, Balin, would you two be willing to go back to town with me, you can help make sure I buy the right sizes."

"Of course, lass." Balin smiled, handing her the stack of pizzas so he could get out of the tall truck. Thorin managed to jump down without losing any of his load. And the boys were out, having figured out how to unbuckle Riordan too, following the boy to the door while his mother opened the hatch and let down the tailgate to let the others out. "Be happy to help."

"Lets have PIZZA!" Riordan squealed in delight, getting cheers from the two princes at his side.


	3. Chapter 3

Hours after everyone was fed, dressed in new clothes, Piper had let Riordan out to play in the yard, and he had dragged Fili, Kíli, and Ori out to play kickball, Piper went on to climb up to the little attic and bring down spare bedding, realizing that she might have house guests for some time. She pulled the ladder down from the ceiling door when she heard someone coming up. Seeing Bofur, in his brown flannel shirt and khaki pants, she grinned. He had kept his hat and scarf, and his gloves and boots, but the rest he had put aside for now. "Hey, Bofur. Whatcha need?"

"Jus' came t' give ye a hand if ye need it." He replied, walking over to her. "Ah, that's a good little hidey hole!"

"Mm? Oh it's just attic storage. Spare stuff and whatnot."

Bofur nodded, eyeing the construction of the folding ladder. Interesting. "I see. Did yer husband build it?"

Piper chuckled and shook her head. "My grandparents built this place. Then my parents had it, and we lost them two years ago, so I inherited it."

"Oh! My condolences then." Bofur took his hat off, holding it to his chest as he gave her a slight bow. "It's a very nice place."

She smiled, amused. "Thank you. I loved coming to visit here when my grandparents still lived here," she explained as she climbed up the ladder. "Never expected to own it though. Guess it was logical, I mean, we paid off the land fairly early and my parents finished the few payments on the house my grandparents couldn't make. So it was all paid up by the time mom and dad moved in." Her voice faded some as she reached the top of the stairs, but she returned to peer down at him. "I'm gonna toss down blankets, ok?"

"O' course!" He agreed, holding his arms out. "So your husband didn't build a home for you?"

"Haven't got a husband. Never married." Came her muffled voice before a pile of dusty blankets dropped down on him.

"Wha—!?" Bofur started to question her but the dust got sucked into his lungs and he started coughing. When he looked up again, he spotted her head hanging out of the doorway, with a humored grin, and she giggled when she saw him looking at her. "Aye, just laugh at ol' Bofur! Don't mind me down here dyin'!"

"Oh, don't be so dramatic!" She rolled her eyes, but was still chuckling. "Just dust!" Another pile of blankets and some pillows came tumbling down after that. One caught the dwarf in the face and he yelped and had thrown it back at her before he realized what he had done. Luckily she took it in good humor and began aiming pillows at him. It wasn't long until most of the pillows were in a disarrayed pile around Bofur and they were both laughing. Piper was bringing the last few down the ladder when she stepped on the corner of a blanket draped over the rung. It slid and she went sprawling with a loud yelp, confused when she felt herself caught by strong arms. "Oof!"

Bofur, pinned under the woman, her legs across his chest, his arm behind her back in a desperate attempt to prevent her from striking her head on anything, winced when her shoe that had fallen off in the tumble, was wedged in his back. He was supporting her mid back, her rather nice rump on his shoulder, and he just smiled up at her. "Ye a'righ'?"

"Uh… yeah, yeah I am." Surprised at their situation, she looked around, glad he appeared uninjured, if a touch squished.

Up the stairs thundered a number of dwarves, and they rounded upon the two heaped on the floor. Piper was looking up at the ladder, while trying to detangle herself from Bofur.

"I've never fallen on that… crazy." Shaking her head, she looked back to see the crowd of dwarves, and gladly accepted Bifur's offered hand as she stood. "Thanks, and thank you, Bofur. I bet you save me from getting hurt."

The miner just grinned from his spot on the floor and reached behind him, handing her back the shoe. Everyone else but Bofur and Bifur gathered up blankets and pillows and carted them down to the den.

" _For a dwarf who was nearly flattened, you look quite pleased."_ Bifur smirked at his cousin, speaking of course in Khuzdul.

" _You're awfully mouthy!"_ Bofur shot back with a wide grin. Still, as much as he didn't want to draw attention to the fact his cousin was right, he couldn't even try to deny it.

Bifur reaches down and clasped his arm with Bofur, pulling the other dwarf to his feet. As Bofur swept his dislodged hat from the floor, dusting it off as though that might actually accomplish something, the older dwarf shook his head. _"She's married, cousin. Else how did she have that boy?"_

There was a twinkle of light in Bofur's eyes. "She's not. Never has been." He shrugged, unable to help the grin that was starting to spread on his face. "Even Gandalf said things were different here. Maybe it's not unusual?" He sad, seeing the skepticism in Bifur's face. "Ye know I'd be de last t' judge." When he had been near Fíli's age, he had a wild streak in him that had involved certain ladies of a particular employment. No dwarven female would ever work thusly, so they had been females of the race of men.

The axe-headed dwarf heaved a breath and shook his head. _"And here I thought you just had a particular taste in females!"_

Scoffing, Bofur reached out to playfully cuff his cousin on the shoulder. "Hey now!" They both chuckled and made their way downstairs. Though at the top of the stairs they had heard a commotion, not one of any sort of panic or ill-naturdeness, and by the time they had come down and around the corner of the short hall leading to the den, they came into sight of an epic battle. Of pillows.

Riordan seemed to be the instigator in all of it. The young lad shrieked and giggled, laughing at he swung his pillow at unexpected nimble dwarves. Oin and Balin has wisely stepped away into the dining room adjacent this open room. Dwalin was standing guard in front of a glass case with fancy knick knacks, while Dori had been stationed in front of a large black rectangular thing. Kíli and Fíli were running about, both avoiding pillows either swung or thrown at them by the boy. Ori and Nori were whacking each other and occasionally Gloin. What surprised the two coming into this scene was Thorin was crouched, pillows in hand, jousting with Riordan as he came by.

As stoic and majestic as the king was, he has helped raise his nephews, and did greatly enjoy children's antics and playfulness. Even if he didn't get to indulge often now that the boys were grown.

"Where's Bombur?" Bofur asked after a moment of watching the group playing.

"Went to the washroom." Dwalin said, his eyes tracking the small child, even he was grinning. With so few dwarrowdams, a child was precious. Even in these strange circumstances, it did the hearts of the company good to see the boy, so full of innocent laughter and lightheartedness. Though they didn't know it yet, this was turning out to be just the break they needed, better even than when they all nearly destroyed Bag End.

Wincing a little, Bofur turned and started towards the hall. "Which is…?"

"Two doors to the right, yeah down that hall." Piper grinned at him, pointing him in the direction of the bathroom. She was promptly distracted by the backswing of Nori's pillow as he tried to get his brother, and had hit her in the face behind him. This started a scuffle, that the woman gladly joined in. The dwarves, while accepting, were mindful of the woman and child.

With a grin at them, Bofur walked away to check on his brother. Whom he found just stepping out of the bathroom, with a disturbed expression. "What happened?"

"It's pourin' water everywhere!" Bombur hissed in quiet panic. He pushed the door open to show the water running out of the toilet bowl. "What do we do?!"

Bofur ran in, ignoring the splashing of his heavy boots. He gave the strange toilet a quick look over, not recognizing how exactly the device worked. "Mahal's beard…" Turning to his brother with a helpless look, he shrugged, a gesture which Bombur repeated.

Soon Dwalin peered around the corner, rolling his eyes. "You two imbeciles are messin' up the lass's house!" He growled at them, shaking his head. Of course they were already making trouble. "Fix it!"

"We can't!"

Gradually one after another, a dwarf disappeared from the romping about, until there were only a few left, and Piper, realizing something was going wrong, looked about. Where had they all gone? Then she followed the sounds of poorly hushed whispers, and found them crowded around the bathroom, and backed up toilet. One had the lid to the tank in his hand, and she had to muffle a laugh at the panicked expressions, and the pile of towels they were using to sop up the seemingly endless mess.

"Okay, okay! Boys! BOYS!" She called over the anything but quiet whispering. Going to the sink, she pulled the plunger from the cabinet, "Let me at it." And in a few minutes she had taught most of the company of Thorin, how to plunge a toilet. Shooting the dwarves off to the den, she got the rest of the mess cleaned up, and bleached.

"Quite sorry about all of this, Mrs. Morgan," came a quiet voice from the doorway. Bilbo smiled politely when she turned to him, just as she was putting things away. "They did rather the same to my toilet, with less of a… puddle." He grimaced. "I hate to think what it may look like now."

Piper chuckled, walking over to him. He was just the size of her boy, so finding clothes for him had simply meant giving him Riordan's nice outfit. "I bet you'll get it sorted just fine. You seem quite ingenious, and from what I hear of hobbits, there's not much that can stop a hobbit from making a fine home."

Under her praise, Bilbo stood to his full height, looking quite self satisfied. "Bag End is very much a fine home, if I do say so myself. I doubt it would be possible, but for whatever it means, I would very much like to show it to you. You've opened your home to us, Mrs. Morgan, it would only be fair." He hesitated a moment before grinning, a touch of playful humor glinting in his merry eyes. "Though, perhaps after I've repaired my plumbing first."

The woman laughed and gently clapped him on the shoulder. "I appreciate that, I really do, Mr. Baggins."

"Bilbo, please." He insisted.

She grinned at him, "Only if you call me Piper. And it would be miss, anyway. I never married." Seeing his look of surprise she chuckled, "Different social structure. A woman doesn't have to marry, not even to enjoy a man's company." She waited, amused by his further shock. "I'm not some wild party girl, but I did… get a little wasted and had a _very_ good time. Rio's a bit of a souvenir from that. It was tough at first, but I love my little boy, wouldn't change history if I could." There was a warm sort of smile on her face.

The hobbit fought to remind himself that this was a different time and a different world, but he saw the look of love on her face, and he smiled. "I can see how much you love him. I may be grown now, but seeing you two makes me miss my own mother."

Piper smiled at him, nodding slightly, unable to deny she missed hers as well. "My parents died in an accident. I hate that Rio doesn't have a grandma to spoil him, I hate not having her around to ask her advice. But… I hope she'd be proud of us."

"I also lost my parents in an accident," Bilbo looked up at her, the two sharing a moment of sympathy.

"Hey, c'mon, why don't you come help me fix up a batch of tea, and you can tell me about your parents." Piper motioned for him to follow her to the kitchen, a nice large kitchen with a bay window and long curved counter, double ovens, central island stovetop, deep sinks, and a number of nice contraptions.

A broad smile spreading on his face, Bilbo nodded, "I'd be happy to! And you must tell me about your family in return."

And so the two went off to fix up tea, and a good sized plate of Milano cookies, for the company. By the time they had tea and snacks, the others had set up a living space for themselves and the absent hobbit, Bofur once more looking out for his little friend. All of her guests were happy to have a cup of tea, and they calmed from their bustling and joking about to sit and drink, even if a number of them would have rather had ale or the like, they weren't going to turn down a freely offered cup. They took this time to chat amicably with their hostess, many telling her something about themselves, and answering her questions.

"This is quite nice!" Dori chirped up after a few sips. "What is it?"

"Orange spiced chai." Piper replied as she sipped her own tea, now and then watching Riordan, who was laying across one of the dwarves' claimed spots, on the supplied bedding, sound asleep. He had crashed after the pillow fight, when the plumbing disaster had struck.

Balin, quite enjoying this milk tea, looked up, licking his lip still, and spoke softly so as not to wake the boy. "Miss Piper, while we appreciate that you've taken us in, more than you could know, lass, dwarves are very hard to house and feed. You've already had to buy what I imagine was a great deal more food than you two would eat, and we seem to have made a mess of your toilet. Which I'm relieved could be repaired so easily." He saw her starting to object, and held his hand up to hold her off for a moment. "There must be some way we can either make ourselves useful, or somehow take the financial burden off of you."

Understanding how he, and likely the others, felt, Piper contemplated his words for a few moments. "Well… I had been thinking of going back into my grandpa's trade. He was a logger, sold firewood mostly, to people who couldn't go out to get their own. We've still got his equipment, and this place could use some tree thinning. A few good loads should give us some funds to keep you all fed."

"Logging? Like some kind of—" Dwalin was cut off by his king.

"That would be perfect. We've felled trees before, at least some of us. It's a good trade, and we can work fast." Thorin said with a sense of finality. They had to do something to earn their keep. And it was highly unlikely they could use their skills that they were more accustomed to. He had neither seen nor heard mention of a forge. "We are smiths, miners, toy makers, and the like, but we can easily adapt to becoming woodsmen."

"Typically we use the term woodcutter, but that works." Piper assured him. "I dunno if you'll be here long enough, but in two weeks we're having a market sale, handcrafted items and such. I'm bringing my decorated candles to sell."

"Yer a candle maker then?" Bofur asked, curiously, his eyes lighting up to hear she too worked handcrafts.

"As a hobby, I enjoy it." Piper got up and walked around to a bookshelf, pulling down a colorful intricately carved and shaped candle. "See? I make these sort of things. People like to buy them for parties and special occasions, since we have electric lights."

"The magic lights you mean?" Ori piped up, pointing up to the ceiling light. It wasn't any sort of fancy chandelier, but a simple round glass covered light.

"Magic… well I suppose it might look like magic, but they're far from. It's electricity, uhm… kind of like harnessed lightning? Well… it's created by machines mostly, but yeah." Piper pursed her lips, the way they were learning she did when she wasn't certain how to explain something.

"There is a lot of your world that is strange to us." Balin smiled kindly. "We understand, it's difficult to explain things one might take for granted."

"Exactly!" Piper cried with a sense of relief, a bright smile dawning on her face as she felt pleased he understood her horrible attempts at trying to help them understand. "A lot of it is things I've never thought I'd have to explain, I don't even understand how it works myself. The more developed we, as a society become, the more complex machinery and technology becomes. I've kept up with some of it, mostly what applies to my work, but I can't tell you how everything works." She half shrugged. "Happy to explain what I can," she offered, tacking quickly on, "Within reason and not constantly," as she looked over, seeing Ori had his mouth open already, and he snapped it shut sheepishly. "But for now, let's take it slow and see if we can make this all work for us, okay? I bet you guys are all turned around and messed up, this can't be easy for you!"

Bofur stood straighter, just slightly, feeling a surge of what he could only imagine was pride, perhaps a touch of happiness, to hear her so concerned about them like that. "Aye, 'tis no' an easy nor comfortable journey for us, but we're lucky t' have ye, lass."

"Mmm say that when you see me tomorrow before I have my coffee." She teased him. Her mind flitted about to how she would feed them the next day and what to do after that, so thankful she worked at home.

Thorin seemed to recede into his own thoughts, sitting on the sofa, watching everyone around him quietly. How long would they be stranded there? He was itching to continue his quest, his impatience allayed only by the remembering of the wizards words. They would return mere seconds after they had left. Still, to be interrupted so soon after beginning the journey! They had hardly left Bree, but four days ago. He couldn't help but feel this did not bode well for the rest of the journey. After a moment he felt eyes on him, and looked up to find their hostess looking at him while the others had broken off into quiet conversations of their own. He was startled to see that she had a sort of encouraging expression, as if by some strange magic she could understand his thoughts. Then she made a subtle motion with her head for him to follow and she rose, excusing herself, and slipped away to the kitchen.

Waiting for the king, Piper pulled the step stool over and climbed up to reach her liquor cabinet. Heading his heavy steps and he walked in, she pointed over her shoulder, "Grab a couple glasses, huh?" Then she pulled down a bottle of old scotch she used to drink with her grandfather. It was still a favorite of hers, though she didn't drink it very often anymore. "My grandfather and I used to drink this together, whenever I needed to get something off my chest." Hopping down lightly, she went to fill the glasses. "You look like you need to say something."

Thorin watched her for a moment, contemplating her offer. He picked up his glass when she did, and brought it to his face, first smelling the contents. His brows rose, and he looked down at the dark amber liquid. Bringing it to his lips he sipped it first, appreciating the slow burn and the spicy flavor, though the sweet after taste was a pleasant surprise to him. "You claim that our world is a story in yours. Tell me of it."

"I can't." Piper replied in an adamant tone. "I wish I could, but I can't."

Raising a brow, Thorin lowered the glass, his eyes darkening in a faint scowl. "Can't, or won't?"

The woman sighed, cradling her half-filled glass in her hands. "Both? I can't let myself tell you something that could possibly change the outcome, I won't hurt your world. We have a theory in our world, called the Butterfly Effect. I don't remember the exact details about it, but it's something how the wings of a butterfly on one side of the world can cause a hurricane on the other."

"Mmm… the echoing anvil. It's not unique to your world." Thorin nodded. He hated it, but he understood what she meant. "You fear telling us anything would become disastrous."

Piper nodded, "I will tell you this much, the tales on your world do not stop with your time. There are other great tales, epic stories, or rather events for you. That will matter greatly to many, human, elf, and dwarf alike. I can't tell you anything that would change your decisions now, because it could change even the littlest of details, which might have bigger repercussions in the future." Her eyes met his imploringly, and she watched his expression as he thought it over, gradually softening.

Thorin sighed, taking a slow drink once more. "Very well. I will not push you on the matter further." He relented, for now recognizing that she had a point. It didn't, however, mean he wouldn't try to find out information in other ways. He would speak with some of the others and work with them to discern as much as they could before they left.

"Besides," Piper added, "It's all written up as a story, who knows what details were changed to make it a better one." She gave one of her half shrugs, and glanced towards the doorway. "I think I can tell you one thing, though, if you swear you won't repeat it."

"On my grandfather's throne, I swear I shall not." Thorin answered immediately, and he meant it.

"Gloin's boy, Gimli? He will be a part of a great adventure, and do many wondrous things." She told him in a soft voice, to be sure it didn't carry to the other room.

Thorin's brows rose again, and he glanced to the doorway before chuckling. "That dwarf is so proud of his lad. I'm sure he'll be insufferable if that comes to pass." He looked back at her, "I caution you not to mention his family unless you have an hour or more to spare." The two shared a laugh, and finished their drinks to lighter talk of logging and what equipment she had to do it with, until Riordan had woken, and had convinced some of the others to go play outside, teaching them the finer points of kickball.

Meanwhile, Piper and Bombur, who was happy to volunteer his aid, worked on making dinner. She had bought, not long ago, very large roast, that she intended to cut up into smaller portions that evening, and store away in her freezer. But it seemed a perfect meal for the dwarves now. Plus she had a large box of potatoes in her pantry and they soon had the roast, cut in half, baking in the twin ovens. Bombur was delighted by them, and looked longingly at the devices. If only he had something like that to use! The potatoes were set to boil, and Bilbo had joined them, and he and Bombur debated seasonings, looking over the spice rack that Piper had.

When she stepped out to check on everyone, she found Oin had curled up on her couch for a nap, and Balin was perusing her bookshelf, holding one of her father's old books about car repair. A certain set of books weren't there, so she didn't worry about him stumbling across anything he shouldn't. Then she went to the window to watch the antics in her yard. Thorin and Dwalin had gone off to look at the trees on her property, to best discern which would sell well, she had indicated that there was a good sized stand of tamaracks near the back. The rest of the dwarves were happily engaged in what was becoming quite the unusual game of kickball. Shaking her head, she was amazed at the very strange turn her life had taken.

Then she turned her head when she heard muttering from the kitchen, in that language she didn't know. Coming back, she found Bifur had joined them, but he was hiding something in his big hands, and was visibly upset. "What's wrong?" She hurried over, hoping to help.

Bombur sighed, "Ah, lass. Seems me cousin sort of got carried away tryin' t' figure out how yer lad's toy worked and… he can't seem t' fix it."

Bifur turned to her, actual tears in his eyes, holding the little broken toy fire engine. He said something in a softer tone, glancing to Bombur to translate.

"He says he's very sorry, an' would like t' make it up t' ye somehow." Bombur informed her, his accent not quite as thick as his brother's but definitely there.

Piper saw the little bits of broken plastic, and quickly guessed the dwarf had never seen the likes of it, only to find it more brittle than he realized. She smiled, scooping it all up and dropping it in the trash can. "Don't worry about it, accidents are bound to happen, and it was just a little toy Rio's mostly grown tired of anyway." Looking back at the language-bound dwarf, she saw there was still distress in his eyes, so she stepped up to him and took one of his large calloused hands in hers. "Tell you what, Bofur mentioned earlier you were a toy maker, so I'm guessing that's what had you curious about this toy." He rapid nod had her lips quirking into a smile. "Well then, why don't you make him something unique to replace it? Then he'll always have something to remember his new dwarven friends by."

Bifur's face lit up with her words, and he spoke, excited and animated, before he swept her into a nearly crushing hug, and dashed away to get his tools.

Piper ran to the doorway after him, calling out, "There's a big oak behind the house, if you want to use that!" She turned back to find the strangest look on Bombur's face. He seemed to happy, but his face was scrunched up with tears in his eyes. "Bombur?"

"Oh, lass, ye… he jus'... tha' was very kind of ye." With a sniffle, he turned back to the quiet hobbit and the boiling pot of potatoes. As he stirred them, he was smiling, seeing Bifur from the kitchen window, already running out to the oak tree and inspecting it. Yes, a kind lass indeed. As strange as their stay here was, he wasn't too displeased by it. "Ah, lass, have we cream?"

"Hmm… just condensed milk in a can." Piper replied, before quickly realizing she had more explaining to do. _If someone calls me Lucy, I'm gonna scream._

While she was doing that, she missed a little pack of dwarves sneaking curiously into her garden shed…


	4. NOTICE

For my peace of mind and simplicity, the rest of this will be posted on AO3 under the same username. Plus a new Thorin fic!

thank you for your continued support!

Kit Wolfren


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